23 and I'm not an aesthetic, I'm Me.

I don’t like cheetah.

Wait! Oh my gosh! Cheetah print is my everything!

Cheetah print is your everything?

Oh my gosh, I’m so tired.

Social media keeps creating these different molds of who we are supposed to be. One day it’s mob wife, the next day it’s it girl, the next month it’s main character but only if you have cinnamon blueberry nails and slicked back bun hair. Yeah. I know what I said. It sounds ridiculous.

It’s frustrating seeing all of my peers, and honestly, even myself, fall into it. Like I said in the beginning, I don’t like cheetah print, but I find myself scrolling TikTok thinking, oh my gosh, yeah, mob wife is so cute. That’s definitely me.

And honestly? I don’t even think half of us know what “mob wife” actually means. Because if we did, we would sit down, take a seat, and be quiet. Not voluntarily label ourselves like tributes in The Hunger Games.

And the thing that really gets me is every single aesthetic or “girl” that gets created is made by some company that benefits, not us. It just confuses us about our identity and how we want to present ourselves to the world. It’s interchangeable. It’s unstable. It does nothing good for our mental health, but it absolutely satisfies our short-term gratification for a temporary amount of time, without us ever facing the bigger issues happening in, I don’t know, our world.

It’s a pretty pink, sparkly, or cheetah print Band-Aid they slap on to make us feel like what’s happening isn’t that bad.

But fuck that.

Because let’s be real, what does a company, probably run by an older white man, actually know about being a girl? And no, this isn’t to shit on men. It’s to highlight that we are the ones who make up our identity. We are in charge of choosing what makes us, us. Not some company trying to hit its quota for a new brand partnership.

It’s bad enough that from the moment we’re born, like straight out of the womb, 

we’re thrown into a box. And then grade school continues it. High school continues it. Adulthood continues it. 

That is a part of womanhood.

Should it be? Absolutely fucking not.

If I like baggy clothes and loose shirts, let me be. Don’t shove me into some “masculine” box and then act shocked when I want to wear a dress. I’m allowed to do that. And vice versa.

That’s why I loved Demi Lovatos wearing sneakers with a dress song. Because yeah I’m allowed to do that. There is no rule that says if you have a uterus you must wear heels. I could wear freaking flippers if I wanted, and all that should say about me is that I like flippers. That’s it. That’s all.

Stop creating my identity based on surface level information. How about instead of seeing a girl’s outfit and assuming you know everything about her, you actually talk to her. Get to know her. Learn from her. Joke with her. Go deep. See her as, I don’t know… a person.

Instead of, “Oh, Lululemon set, slick-back bun, pink Stanley. Not my type. We won’t get along.”

Like… what?

Do you know how many times in my life, and even while writing this, I spoke with multiple girls about what it means to be one, and they’ve also experienced the “You’re nothing like I expected” comment?

Why? Wha—? Huh? Do you really think that’s a compliment? Why were you expecting anything?

And what really tickles my feathers had to lighten this up because it’s turning into a crash out piece, but let it. Is that when I wear all black, edgy tights, a mesh top, and heavy eyeliner, suddenly the bubbly, nice girl is scared of me. No more “hi.” No more “how are you.”

This happens to us every day. We are judged and perceived before we even say a word. Even by each other of all ages.

I worked as a waitress and used to run little experiments. I would change my look, my cadence, my energy, just to see how people reacted. On one hand, it was interesting. On the other, it was disappointing and sad.

The results always varied, but not once was anyone actually interested in getting to know me. And you’re probably thinking, well, you’re working and they’re eating. But all I’ll say is this: when people looked like them, they gave them all the time in the world. They talked about vacations and families. They joked.

But they just knew me based on what they could see.

That’s why companies are allowed to play with our identities as girls. They shift our minds from our powerful, thoughtful, caring selves into insecurity. From learning and discovering who we are into worrying about whether we have the latest trend and all the "requirements" that come with it.

I had to step away from the constant, exhausting push of aesthetics to figure out who I actually am, and I still am. That’s life.

But I know this: I am allowed to like Taylor Swift and ONE OK ROCK. I can wear dark makeup with a light outfit. None of that defines who I am deep down. It just shows what I chose to put on my avatar that day.

And that’s it.

This is for every young girl who has been made to feel lower on the scale for not having the newest dumb trend that I promise will change in the next 48 hours. Do what makes you feel good, not some AI-generated starter pack that costs you more than just money to keep up with.

It’s a lot to be a girl.

Being a girl is showing up for another girl in the bathroom when someone yells, “Do you have a pad or tampon?”

Being a girl is starting a conversation over perfume and ending it crying and hugging because you opened up about how it reminded you of a family member.

Being a girl is making space for one another.

Being a girl is standing up for someone when they’re not there to do it themselves.

Being a girl is breaking down on the bathroom floor and not knowing why.

Okay, maybe that last one is just me but you get it.

Being a girl means so many things, from light to deep. And we are so much more than blueberry nails, cinnamon-roll hair, and pink Pilates sets.

We aren’t game characters that stay the same the whole time.

We are people.

thank you for coming back ♡

Davyne signing out